This will likely be my last entry here on Xanga. With all the changes in my life recently, it felt like a good time to begin using the blogspace I choose many months ago. I would love for you to follow me over there and enjoy the journey with Lucas and I as we get to be newly-weds again.

http://callthekettlelovely.wordpress.com/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until the landing gear unfolded and the wheels began to spin on the pavement that I understood: it is over.

A moment, fifteen months in the making, came without and spectacular fanfare. I doubt anyone else even noticed the significance of a 20-seater plane landing in Portland, Oregon on time- as usual. The flight attendant looked bored as we taxied down the runway toward the terminal; the other passengers looked around at each other wondering how long the baggage would take. I sat perfectly still and cried. It was over.

So many things are new again- which I realize is an oxymoron itself. After fifteen months, even the mundane seems new again. But, perhaps more than ever, even the little things seem brighter and more full of possibility. Lucas and I are re-starting our life together in a small farming community outside the city, working, drinking tea, learning, and passing the time in God’s will as much as we can.

Come along for the journey.

Krissy

Christmas eve was a rather disjointed day for me. The morning found me on a train headed away from home back to Toronto to pick up my medical file from the certified immigration doctor. I was only in the lovely city long enough to walk five blocks, grasp an envelope, stop at starbucks, and hop back on the next train out. I had an odd sensation of finality while on the train back home, followed quickly by a few escaped tears springing up from... well, I don't exactly know. I felt comforted by the presence of strangers on the train as I looked out the window all the way home again.

The afternoon, was filled with busy work preparing for the invasion of people coming Christmas day. I helped clean, decorate, and wrap gifts. The usual.

Church, in the evening, was simply beautiful. Faith always seems so alive when we reflect upon new birth and practice tradition. My family lit the advent candles, and we each read scripture. I happened to get the only passage of the night that I have never previously memorized for a play- that made me laugh. I also laughed all the way through Silent Night to the point where a Pastor's wife noticed and asked me about it later. I simply think it is among the most rediculous hymns of our faith.

One particular moment stands out to me from the service last night: an image of Emmanuel. One member of our choir, though not particularly elderly, is fairly limited in her mobility and thus limited to a walker or staff most of the time. She, loving singing, insists on being a part of the choic and standing with them through the whole perormance. As they sang, the choir director stood right next to this woman, supporting her with one arm and holding her music. The simple act on the choir director's part, allowed the woman to move freely with the music. It felt like her whole soul was singing. Emmanuel- God with us, in little ways everyday.

The rest fo the evening, like all Christmas eve's, was spent as a family, wearing new pajamas and eating fondue around the coffee table. Predictably, we watched the old cartoon Grinch and the Garfield Christmas special- our favourites!

Now, the sun has risen and we are all scattered around the house enjoying our various Christmas gifts and preparing ourselves for the afternoon.

Isn't it just amazing that we get to celebrate the coming of a Saviour in the knowledge that He will come again? Beautiful. Perfect.

Krissy

The waiting is almost over.

Friday, Lucas and I got an email from our lawyer declaring that the VISA centre had appointed me an interview date of January 8th in Montreal. The email was more than two weeks early, and felt difficult to unerstand at first. But soon, confusion and shock gave way to comprehension and excitment. All this was about to be complete. All this was about to be over. All this was about to become a memory. 

Of course, the questions soon spilled over into the spaces where disbelief once lived. Was this really the end? What will change? How quickly? We had to wait until monday for answers, so scenario's pour from imagination citing the best and the worst of possibilities. I did my best to press the worst towards the front- likely out of protection for my fragile heart.

With monday came answers. I waited for the call all day as I alternated between sewing and schoolwork. I played music, watched senseless tv, and generally avoided the silences that seemed to only further my anticipation. It was nearly dinner when the phone rang. It was with a sigh of relief and dawning understanding that I hung up the phone knowing the best case scenario would be reality.

It will all be over in thirty days.

Everything is marked with bizarre colours of excitment and fear now. Twelve months ago, moving would have been simple, uncomplicated, but now I have a life here with friends, family, and co-workers whom I greatly love. So now, as I prepare for what I have been longing for, I find it is not without its own string tied straight from people into my heart.

A friend of mine once told me that it is a very sad thing indeed if you can leave a place without sadness for what is being left behind and excitment for what is ahead. I have no room for such sadness, not even a hint of it.

Krissy

I am not sure what it is about the last few days, but I have found myself crying at tv commercials.I am not even talking halmark commercials or ones for the humane society- thank goodness I haven't seen any of those! Its the completely normal commercials for things like paper towels, car insurance, and tv shows. Advertisements about life.

The commericals set me off into a day dream- that may become reality sooner than I expected.

Perhaps it is natural after Lucas' visit where everything just felt normal. I like the idea of having a normal life with paper towels in the kitchen, an insured car, and tv shows to watch together at night. I don't dream about or really need the extravagent, just the things that are typically expected for a married couple. The commercials are just poking at a soft-spot in my heart, it seems.

Krissy

I went looking for a word that seems conspicuously missing from my native tongue. A word that can describe something more than like, but less meaningful than love. A word to use for things, not people. It seemed only natural to want a word to describe how strongly I feel about some things in my life without cheapening how strongly I feel about some people in my life.

I can't love my new slippers like I love my husband.

I can't adore autumn as I adore it's Creator.

And thus, I cannot express to you the post I was forming in my head about the things in my life that I... 'love'. There are a great many number of people in my life that I really do love. I can feel it swelling in my heart and am, at times, surprised with a sudden rush of love for people I know. Today, a co-worker looked my in the eyes, and spoke one completely natural sentance that revealed her sweet heart. And, though I have felt love for her before, I saw it just then so clearly. And that, makes slippers and autumn seem insignificant.

Krissy